Song of the moment: She Hates Me by Puddle of Mudd


Wow, that lasted long. lol. I broke up with Brent like two days ago.... hah, at least it wasn't like with Anthony. Our "relationship" lasted like, 5 hours until I got home from hanging out with him and saying "yes, I'll be your girlfriend" until I IMed him and told him that we needed to talk. I'm so pathetic. haha.


But yeah, this week was very... [I'll say it again] interesting. I got caught [about the whole driving thing] because my brother ratted on me. He didn't know I was driving the entire week until the day that my mom and sister got back. I thought they were going back on Friday, so I put the car back to its normal parking spot. They actually got back on Saturday, and when my brother and I got back from work, my brother asked my sister how and why the car got hom before they did. They eventually figured it out and my sister got all mad and started yelling at me. I just laughed in front of her and laughed even more hysterically afterwards when she wasn't around. My brother also told my mom that I drove the car while they were gone this morning while I was waiting for her at the car so she could give me a ride to work, and my mom just told me to hurry up and get my license.


Although..... today, after work my mom was washing the car and found the dent on the front from when I crashed onto that parked car. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that from this week.... I was picking Ashley up from her house and I was parking on the sidewalk. I was singing along to my music and I had my sunglasses on, so I wasn't paying attention and then suddenly, BAM! I hit this green Toyota and made a huge ass fucking noise. Some construction guy saw me do it and he was all, "Holy shit are you okay?" After that, I ran to Ashley's house, grabbed a piece of -blank- paper, put it on the windshield of the car, and ran like shit. lol.


I need to start jogging again. I really need to get back in shape just in case I want to do basketball this year. I've lost the extra pounds I gained during the last few weeks of school, but I'm all scared I'm going to gain it all back so I'm probably going to start playing DDR again. I met this guy from Aptos high named Daniel... he's all into punk and DDR and all this other crap, plus he's a Junior too so that's pretty cool. I've been wanting to go to a punk concert with someone and just hang out and listen to music/play music/whatever. Freak, I really need to get back to my music... I've been so pre-occupied with other stuff that I haven't had any time to myself to practice. I also need more time to read and write... God, I miss those days. My days of being a loner, and actually liking it. haha I'm such a wierdo.


I try so hard to focus on one side of something---for example, music. I can never stay stable with one type of music.. I am always moving around, experimenting with different ethnic styles of music, I've transitioned from rap, to shitty pop, to classical, to Korean/Japanese/Vietnamese/Chinese music, to Alternative/Punk/Metal, to swing, and back to hip hop. I mean I love to dance to hip hop and stuff... oh gosh, you have no idea how much I love to dance. I've been performing for family get-togethers ever since I was like five years old. I just love showing off what I can do on the dance floor... and I don't care if I make a fool of myself or if I astound people with my "skills", just as long as I'm having fun and I'm doing what I want to do, at the same time entertaining those around me even if they ARE laughing at me. It's all good. hehe


People say I'm wierd and I agree. The day that I was going to "do my business", I walked out of the Twisselman office and just randomly said, "Bah. Guys suck... I wanna be a lesbian". Stanley and some other guy were just like, "Dude... did I she say what I think she said?" And then there are the times when I just laugh at random/stupid things. People say that my laughter is very contageous and everytime I laugh, everyone just starts laughing with me for no apparent reason and the next thing I know, we're all just laughing hysterically over something really stupid like the wind blowing up on someone's hair or something. Yeah, I guess my idiocy sometimes spreads. =D


The best laughs I have had, I would have to say, is when I'm on a sugar high with Lorraine. Holy shit, have we had some good times from drinking coffee drinks and eating candy. No one can understand the stupid jokes we make and the smallest things we analyze and then eventually laugh about when we're on a sugar high. Laughing over stupid things is one of the best feelings in the world, because you're just sitting there laughing over something so utterly stupid that after five minutes of laughing, you forget what you're laughing about and then you start to laugh some more over your idiocy and senile memory. Laughter is just bottom line one of the funnest things to do in the world and you can never have enough of it, unless of course you die from loss of oxygen or something. Laughing would have to be one of my favorite things to do when I'm depressed or sad or mad or angry or especially, glad next to writing. Like what I said before, just writing the things that come to your mind is one of the best prescriptions for figuring out who you really are deep inside, because you actually get to know your subconscious self. It's a lot better when you have the ability to write fast, and if you don't, you can always get a tape recorder and just talk to it for a few hours. It sounds a little wierd, but when you think about it, it actually kind of makes sense. To me, anyways [But then again I'm a wierdo so yeah.]


Man, I can't wait until school starts. Here's a little list of my hopeful plans during the school year:

-Take 6 "normal" high school classes... bah, I forgot what I chose the for the first semester, so I guess I'll just post that later
-3 Cabrillo [community college] classes----Italian, Guitar, and Speed Reading
-Try out for Mock Trial in school
-Join the cullinary club [Don't ask]
-Try out for Escapades, even though I won't have any time for it during the school year--I just want to see if I can get in.
-Basketbal ?
-Get a job *outside* the Boardwalk [The wharf, downtown, the mall, etc]
-Go to a rock concert


The last one isn't really that important and it's the easiest thing to do, but whatever. I just need a concert buddy and I'll be set. Ashley would so go with me to any Punk rock concert, and Mallory is so up to any other concert, especially one with Audioslave. Damn, I really want to go to Lollapalooza but ehh.... I guess it's too late now. I really wanted to meet Anthony [a different one] from SJSU, too. He seems like a really cool guy and he said I should be his band's bass player even though I have never played the bass.. ever. haha.


ponder ponder ponder....


I want to make a new layout, but I absolutely have no time on my hands. I wish life was timeless so I could accomplish all of my goals and CHORES and all this other crap I have to do before I die a miserable death. Death is a neccesity to life. If it wasn't for death, we would all drive each other mad and just live in a world full of hate for one another and that really doesn't sound fun, does it? But maybe it's just my pessimistic thinking. If no one ever died, and the world was just infinitely huge enough to support everyone being born every single day, we could possibly lead a "normal" and happy life. Of eternity. I cannot comprehend how that would turn out, but if anyone can enlighten me with their ideas of eternal life and eternal happiness, IM or e-mail me and I'll be forever grateful.


Hmm... I've been at home now for the longest time in ten billion years going back and forth from the computer to cleaning to watching the t.v. to doing my laundry. I've been thinking and pondering this entire day from the minute that Lorraine dropped me off to this very second just thinking about random stuff. And when I'm not on the computer typing all of this down, I'm thinking of what I want to talk about and I try to remember it while I'm cleaning so I could just plop all of this information down into my online journal. Have I ever mentioned that I used to want to be a writer? I realized that waaaay back in fourth grade when my teachers started praising me of my "writing skills". I still remember the first poem I wrote that was actually pretty good [for my age.. at the time] and was even good enough to be read in front of the class and to be talked about the teacher of the true meaning of the poem, when all I did was try to rhyme and make it sound good at the same time:


Blue, blue what a clue
Blue is strong
Blue is calm

Blue, blue what a clue
You can never guess what blue can do

Blue is the sky
Blue is the bird
Blue is the stomping cattle herd

Blue, blue what a clue
You can never guess what blue can do


Skills. And I can't believe that I still have that shit memorized form fourth grade. Wait, actually I can. The only thing I'm good at remembering are faces, song lyrics and things that I write that of importance to me. Oh yeah, and phone numbers. I am the best at remember phone numbers and screen names... but for some wierd reason, I can never remember names. Like actual names. If I see it on paper, then I can remember it... but when people tell me their names in person, it takes me like days hanging out with him/her to remember it. I guess I just have a photographic memory.


*yawn* Damn, I have to work a 1 tommorow. I'm probably going to wake up early so I could finish doing my laundry.. which I haven't really started doing yet, I just gathered it around and procrastinated these past few hours. I procrastinate from doing things and while I procrastinate from doing those things, I am doing something else as I procrastinate from that to do something else, I write about procrastinating. Wow. Read that a few times and tell me it makes sense. It does. OH, I WIN. Haha... see, I will so make a good lawyer some day. And that just came out from me sitting in front of my computer mesmerized by the monitor light, allowing my subconsciousness do the thinking and my fingers do the typing.


I am such a schizo. ?_?